Too perfect for words...

carmen: I know how hard you work to keep yourself at a distance from everyone else on the planet, but it's not working for you anymore.

shane: It's working fine.

carmen: No, it's not, because of this. (puts shane's hand on her heart, then puts her hand on shane's heart) Okay? Do you feel this? Most people don't have this. This is rare.

shane: So what?

carmen: That's right. So what? So what if nothing ever comes out of this? So what, if you'll never act on it? You are so convinced that having a relationship near you is going to kill you.

shane: Because it will.

carmen: And that's why I'm with Jenny. It works because she and I are both biding our time, waiting for the real deal to come along.

shane: You don't think you and Jenny are the real deal?

carmen: Jenny wouldn't know what the real deal was if it bit her in the ass. She is so lost in her own darkness. I think she likes it in there. But do you know what's fucked up? Is that you and I know what the real deal is. We saw it the first time we laid eyes on each other. You're not living your life, Shane. And if you don't take any risks then you might as well be dead.

WSGKSG: Erin McCarley Reading Playboy

In the realm of Ways the Straight Girl Knows She's Gay (WSGKSG), it doesn't get much clearer than reading Playboy. (Maybe watching lesbian porn?)

Thank you for making my day Erin McCarley! I wish I could have made it to the Madison show, I heard it was amazing.

Confession: I have a crush on Meghan McCain

This has been escalating for awhile now. It started when I read her plucky response to other less enlightened right wing female pundits when they criticized her (gorgeous) curves. Then I started seeing gays and lesbians I follow on Twitter re-tweeting her tweets supporting same-sex marriage and defending equal rights for all. Curious, I decided to follow her too and that just fueled the fire. I'm a sucker for a girly girl and fellow blonde who is both political and fashionable, compassionate and (a bit) silly. If she comes out as pro-choice - actually, just make that if she comes out in general - I'll ask her to marry me. (Too much? lol) Swoon.

Her photo shoot for the No H8 campaign sealed the deal though. She looks absolutely beautiful in this picture and it couldn't be for a better cause. And BTW, if anyone knows what nail polish she is wearing do tell cause I want it! If this is the future of the Republican party in the next decade (and god, I hope it is), it bodes extremely well for the gay rights movement. And for bringing young people to the party. And for ending the culture wars. And...okay, you get the point, it's a good thing.

So there it is, I have a full on crush on the lovely and talented Meghan McCain. My family would disown me if they knew (cause she's a Republican, not cause it's a girl crush - we're that kind of family) so I share my deep dark secret with you, blogosphere.

Uber Mega Riot Grrrl

So call me Captain Negligent for my lack of posting. It's been kind of a weird transitional month for me. I have to tell you about the amazingness that was Summerfest in Milwaukee on Monday night.

I'm honestly not a big concert goer because other people (teeny boppers, drunks, obnoxious people in general) tend to ruin them for me. But a particular line up for Monday got my butt from Madison to Milwaukee for a great night of music.

Erin McCarley

A Texas native, Erin McCarley got experience playing in San Diego. She has distinctly country undertones (she covered a Patty Griffin song) but mostly a pop singer/songwriter feel. Her first album Love Save the Empty debut in January with a lot of support (I heard about her through plugs on iTunes and at Starbucks) and a spot on the soundtrack for He's Just Not That into You. Her voice was just as bright and lovely live as on her album, but she could use a little practice working the crowd. A great moment was her and the pianist's beat box cover of Suzanne Vega's "Tom's Diner" which she asked the crowd to sing along to if they knew it (none of the teeny boppers did).

Girl in a Coma

These are contemporary riot grrrls if I've ever heard them. The trio hail from San Antonio, Texas (are you noticing a theme?) and were recruited to the Blackheart Record label by Joan Jett herself. The group is queer friendly, having opened for Tegan and Sara and featured on Afterellen.com. Being totally legit and having played for 8 years, they definitely didn't get the show they deserved. The crowd sucked (mostly drunk men waiting for the Guffs later on, with a handful of punk lesbians and latino folks) and it started raining almost as soon as they started playing. But the girls were rockstars, and lead singer Nina's expressions during the show were priceless (and combined with a wifebeater and red lipstick, completely sexy).

Sick of Sarah

This all female quintet from Minnesota was the real treat of the night. I'm a sucker for a saccharine sweet voice backed by an emo sound a la Veruca Salt, Letters to Cleo, Metric, and Rocking Horse Winner. Very late 90s in the best way possible. With such a sweet voice I wouldn't have expected the group to be as badass as they were - especially lead singer Abisha Uhl - cussing, spitting beer and messing with the security guards. Bonus. Again, the crowd was less than stellar, mostly teeny boppers staking out a spot to see Spoon who would be following. The queer girls in the crowd stood out like beacons, mouthing the words with their eyes fixed on the hotness that is SOS (particularly the slender blonde Jamie on bass :-). This band was definitely the queerest of the night, getting heavy exposure on Afterellen.com and playing on an Olivia cruise. I can't wait to see them again in August with Addy Janes!

More rocking chicks playing @ Summerfest:

Grace and Julian - cool jazzy vocals

Geri X - indie folk rock

Sarah VonderHaar - pop acustic

Melismatics - indie punk

Shiny Toy Guns - electronica

honeyhoney - pop folk rock

Lita Ford - lead singer for the Runaways (a riot grrrl legend!)

The Veronicas - pop rock

Riot Grrrl Thurrrsday

Ok, this is a make up edition of Riot Grrrl Thurrrsday, since I missed last week.  Graduating and moving have a way of becoming a tremendous time suck.

VersaEmerge

Sierra Kusterbeck = awesome lead singer.  Kudos to Fueled by Ramen for signing them.  Also check out their YouTube, the band is pretty funny.

Howling Bells

Juanita Steins vocals are mesmerizing.

Buffy Sans Joss Whedon? That Ain't Right.

So. Very. Wrong.

An article on The Hollywood Reporter's website claims that a new Buffy the Vampire Slayer movie is in the works WITHOUT JOSS WHEDON OR THE REST OF THE CAST. Sorry to shout, but WTF?!

Guess who's spearheading the project? None other than the director of the original 1992 Buffy movie, Fran Rubel Kuzui. You remember her, right? Made a mockery of Joss Whedon's original script, the end result was deplorable at best? Technically, she and her husband Kaz were executive producers for BTVS but my understanding is they had nothing to do creatively with the show - just reaped the financial benefits. Why does anyone think it's a good idea to let this woman be involved in another Buffy project? Kuzui shouldn't be allowed to touch it with a ten foot pole.

The salt in the wound is that so many Buffy fans have waited six years for the remote possibility that another movie - a better movie - could be made with Joss at the helm and with the original cast. I'm livid. Share my anger and comment or join the Whedonesque rage here (there's already 150 comments and it's only been a couple hours.)

Riot Grrrl Thurrrsday

Death Cigarettes



I found this group kind of randomly, but I love the lead singer Maya's voice. The group hails from London, but I'm hoping they come stateside soon. I hear they put on a pretty wild live show. Rumor has it Maya wanders the crowd and messes with audience members. She can mess with me anytime she wants ;-)

Boys That Wear Makeup

And the girls that love them. If you haven't guessed, this is an edition of Ways the Straight Girl Knows She's Gay (WSGKSG for not so short). And liking boys in makeup/drag? Probably a good sign.

I was always a sucker for a guy in eyeliner. Maybe I should have make the connection to girls in eyeliner earlier. Better late than never!

PS. Vote for Adam Lambert (the boy wearing makeup) for American Idol. He's got amazing pipes and it would be cool to have a gay/bi idol.

White House Correspondents Dinner

Tonight was the White House Correspondents Dinner, which apparently is also known as the nerd prom. Per tradition, President Obama attended and did a bit of stand up comedy for the audience. This isn't the first time he's done a comedy routine, but I prefer him as a motivational speaker. He did have one line in particular that I loved about his relationship with adviser David Axelrod:

"David and I have been together for a long time ... When I think back to that day that I called Ax so many years ago and said, “You and I can do wonderful things together” and he said to me the same thing that partners all across America are saying to one and other right now: “Let’s go to Iowa and make it official.”

See the clip of his bit (the line above it at 4:15):



Between that line and the fabulous (and out and proud) Wanda Sykes also doing stand up, I'd say it was a good night for gay folk.

Lipstick Lesbians? Not According to Desperate Housewives.

I'm not loving Desperate Housewives lately. Nothing about it has been happy. Yes I know that May sweeps and all the drama that goes with them are upon us. I'm also not loving how the show has dealt with lesbian issues this season either, with Susan's co-worker crushing on her and making a fool of herself. But this week really pissed me off. It was just one line, and you might have missed it, but it was enough.

Let's go back and get some context. Eva Longoria's character Gabby's six year daughter wants to wear make-up and when they fight, Carlos suggests that neither of them wear makeup to a fancy dinner. Of course Gabby freaks (who wouldn't?!). In complaining about her less than glamorous situation at the event she says to Carlos:

"As long as you don't mind people thinking you're out on the town with your anemic, lesbian sister."

Lame. Oh so lame. So many things wrong. First, being unattractive is associated with being a lesbian. Boo. And secondly, lesbians don't wear makeup? Hello! It's called LIPSTICK lesbian for a reason. Ellen is a Cover Girl! Lesbians can - gasp! - be as beautiful as any other woman! For shame, writers. For. Shame.

The "Anemic Lesbian" look. Funny how she still looks amazing.


Okay, not as much when she frowns, but c'mon it's still Eva Longoria.

Riot Grrrl Thurrrsday

Let's get back from the very bad place that was last week's riot grrrl (maybe so bad it was good....). Mika Miko are about as true to the genre as it gets these days. I know I put groups up here sometimes that only have a woman fronting the group, but Mika Miko is an all girl group which is just that much cooler. They started out on the all women female-run indie label Kill Rock Stars, former home to Bikini Kill.



They have a new album out this week called We Be Xuxa. Couldn't find a good video for any of their new stuff, so this will have to suffice for now.

Riot Grrrl Thurrrsday

I want to talk this week about what riot grrrl has become. Riot grrrl music hit the scene in 1991-92. I was 7, so obviously I came to appreciate it after the fact. I got to grow up with the bastardization of riot grrrl known as "girl power". Two words: Spice. Girls. Same old sexualization and subjugation of women just enhanced with a "chicks rock" message stolen from the likes of Kathleen Hanna and Allison Wolfe.

What I have yet to be able to determine over many years is whether this is a good or a bad thing. For example, my cousin loves Hanna Montana and her ilk. I actually kind of like this from Demi Lovato:



I realize nothing about that is riot grrrl except that it's a chic and it's rock. But is this what riot grrrl means today? I mean basically, a lot of these girls talk about bucking norms and being yourself, which I feel is a key element of riot grrrl. Ex:



Do I think this does more good for my teenage cousins than bad? Probably. Are they going to be feminists/anarchists/riot grrls because of this music? Probably not. But maybe someday this will have paved the way a bit :-).

Every week I put an artist up here to promote a woman making good music, but what has really happened to the riot grrrl aesthetic today? Does it even still exist?

Riot Grrrl Thurrrsday (Friday Edition)

Ok, so I love punk, but I also have a deep love for jazz and soul handed down from my folks. So I kinda love artists like Adele, Duffy and Amy Winehouse that have a bit off soul to their voices. This week's riot grrrl Florence & The Machine takes a bluesy voice and backs it with rock sounds a la the White Stripes. The EP A Lot of Love - A Lot of Blood is out this week.



Downright sassy. Love it!

AfterEllen Keeps It Up?

So, I'm surfing lez sites and blogs, of which AfterEllen.com is one of my favorites, when I see this:

Ads for male erectile dysfunction drugs? And more:

What's the what here? Why is AE running these ads on their site? Why would this company choose a lesbian site to run these ads? I've heard of women using these drugs with some varied results, but I doubt this is serious being marketed to those having girl on girl action. The weirdness confounds.

Riot Grrrl Thurrrsday

I'm very excited about this week's Riot Grrrl. I've mentioned Alison Mosshart before. I've always liked The Kills. When their album Midnight Boom came out a little over a year ago there was song called Black Balloon and I thought, "Cool, they did a Goo Goo Dolls cover, this should be good." Wrong, but what I got was even better.

This week, The Kills released a new EP featuring Black Balloon and two new songs. The best part of this re-release? The new video for Black Balloon.



In my first post I talked about having a weird set of interests. I love this video because it manages to bring several of those widely disparate interests together. Beautiful girl, sick voice, alternative music, and last but not least vampires. So. awesome. I have no words, only swooning.

So pretty...look at those lips!

Wait...something's not right....

She's a vampire.

Even hotter. Don't care if that's not right.

Why Cosmo is for Lesbians

I've become a fan of Curve magazine since beginning to embrace my sapphic side, and I adore the many aspects it brings together that define my life. Long before I was savvy enough to discover my love of Curve - and discover my love of, ahem, curves - I spent countless hours leafing through "mainstream" women's mags. And still do for that matter. Cosmo is a staple as are Elle, Vogue, Allure, and Glamour. To a lipstick lesbian (and in the words of Elle Woods), Cosmo is the Bible.

It wasn't just the stilettos and couture duds that drew me in though, which brings me to the second installment of Ways the Straight Girl Knows She's Gay (WSGKSG). Sure, most women's magazines contain a requisite amount of male nudity, but even more so they feature quite a bit of female nudity. Everything from advertisements to swimsuit and lingerie spreads. And to a girl who may not realize she's gay yet, eyes lingering a little too long on certain pages should give pause.

She's not even a little nude (sad, I know), but my the first time I can remember looking a little too long and too often at a girl in a magazine was Selma Blair in the August 2002 issue of Seventeen when I was 16.



There was just something so adorably androgynous about her. I put the page up on my wall, and when my mom inquired I told her I was "thinking about getting my hair cut like that." Right.

Fast forward nearly eight years and it's a lot harder to use that line for Adriana Lima in this one:



Finally, there's the article that prompted this trip down memory lane:



Holy Hell. That's all I could say when I noticed this on Huffington Post while at work today, hoping my co-workers didn't notice me go into conniptions. This is for a feature article for Allure's Nude Issue. This is the epitome of what I'm taking about. If Padma Lakshmi doesn't make you question things just a little bit, I don't know what would. Oh, maybe this:



Eliza. Dusku. For real. Am I the only one who's Cosmo sometimes induced induces naughty feelings? I doubt it.

**Update** Last night I was watching But I'm a Cheerleader. How could I have forgotten the lines:
"Everyone reads Cosmo. Everyone looks at other girls, all the time!"
"But you only assume they're thinking what you're thinking when they look, but they're not"
"I thought everybody had those thoughts..."

In the words of Harvey Milk...

Come out, come out where ever you are!

Riot Grrrl Thurrrsday

This week's Riot Grrrl is Jenny Owen Youngs. She's got a new EP out Lead to the Sea. She's a little more singer/songwriter a la Fiest or Regina Spektor than rocker chic, but she proves that genre can pack as much punch. And let's face it, any musician who can pull off such a great cover as Hot in Herre deserves the Riot Grrrl title.



New song Lead to the Sea



Adorable cover of Nelly's Hot in Herre

Fox Does Joss Right with Jossverse

There are two types of people out there: those who can appreciate and respect Joss Whedon's genius and those who can't. Yes, I realize that comes off as a little fangirl. Let's clarify a little: there are two types of people in the entertainment industry. For instance:

Twentieth Century FOX (Buffy movie): couldn't appreciate Joss
WB (cancelled Buffy): couldn't
UPN (picked up Buffy for seasons 6 & 7): could
FOX (Firefly): couldn't
Universal (Serenity): could

FOX's treatment of Whedon's new project Dollhouse thus far seems fair enough, and I have high hopes for the future mostly because of this:



This is one of FOX's episodes of the Jossverse, part of the extra features they put on their website for Dollhouse. Brief though they may be they give viewers a brief peek in Whedon's world and that in turn gives me hope that FOX will treat this project with respect. Call me optimistic. Cause I just can't deal with another show being destroyed, particularly with Joss Whedon at the healm.

As Goes Iowa...

... so goes the nation. Normally a statement applying to presidential elections, millions around the country today are hoping that adage applies to the legalization of gay marriage. Because today, folks, the Iowa Supreme Court ruled that the state statute defining marriage as only between a man and a woman violated Iowa's equal protections clause in the constitution. Even better, this was a UNANIMOUS decision. All the legal eagles out there know just how rare that is.

IOWA HAS LEGALIZED GAY MARRIAGE!




I'm officially eating my words. Only a few days ago, I wrote about relationship recognition being something only the coastal states were hip to. Crow never tasted so good.

Opponents are already proposing a constitutional amendment through the state legislature. Jokes on them. The majority of legislators in the state support equality.

This is a great lesson in why members of the LGBT community, allies and all progressives should care about all elections. DOMA put decisions about same-sex marriage in the hands of states, so state legislative races are crucial in determining the fate of marriage rights in individual states.

Even more blatant and relevant is the importance of state supreme court elections. These elections have abysmally low turnout here in Wisconsin (generally under 20%), as I imagine they do in Iowa and other states as well. Yet they consistently are (literally) the deciding factor in whether or not a state will allow same-sex marriages. Massachusetts, Connecticut, California and now Iowa all established same-sex marriage through the courts.

So this is my plea to Wisconsinites: Vote on April 7 in the state supreme court race. Get to know the candidates. Make an informed decision. It's the least you can do.

Riot Grrrl Thurrrsday

Emily Haines - Metric

This week's Riot Grrrl is Emily Haines of Metric (also of Broken Social Scene). Girl is wearing that dress and those shoes in the video below from their new album Fantasies. I'm not always a fan of bands that put have a woman as a front and then all male instrumentalists, but Haines is clearly running the show (and also happens to be an accomplished pianist and songwriter).

Also, I'm a huge Rolling Stones fan and the song title Gimme Sympathy (Gimme Shelter + Sympathy for the Devil - my favorite song of all time) just rocks my world.



More pics (cause, like I've said before, I'm a sucker for a cute blonde)

Screw this, I'm moving to New England

I live in Wisconsin, a state that in 2006 voted 59% to 41% to amend the state constitution to define marriage as "between one man and one woman" and ban anything "substantially similar" to marriage. Lame.

The positive strides that have been made for equality over the last few years have come from the coastal states, and mostly the east coast. This week is the epitome of that trend. An article by the Associated Press sums it up nicely.

I'm not saying relationship recognition is without hope in the fly over states. In fact, it's strong gay and lesbian individuals and organizations that will make it possible for change to come to those states in maybe five or ten years, so a mass exodus is not the order of the day. But I don't want to wait - I want in the fray now.

Hence I say "Screw this, I'm moving to New England."

Riot Grrrl Thurrrsday

First off I should explain that I'm going with an expanded definition of the riot grrrl genre to women that are making awesome music. This allows for new musicians and others outside the movement to be included in these posts

This weeks Riot Grrrls are Ida Maria. They're poppy-punk rockers from Sweden (love it!). I think the sick vocals and smart lyrics speak for themselves:

Lesbian. Vampire. Killers.

The feminist in me knows this is wrong, but the vampire enthusiast just thinks this is too funny to care. When you think about, it's not that bad. It pokes fun at the notion of lesbians as evil seductresses (although I have to ask, what's wrong with that?).

Riot Grrrl Thurrrsday

This is a big "duh." I promise subsequent installments won't be so trite, but for the first round I felt the need to go with a classic. This is just one of my favorite songs of all time. I hear those opening drum beats and everything is good.

Favorite lyric: "When she talks I hear the revolution/In her hips there's revolution/Where she walks the revolution's coming/In her kiss I taste the revolution"

Kathleen Hanna is just full of awesomeness.


And I will always love the Kathleen Hanna reference on the L Word ("Oh, she just pretty much started the whole riot grrrl music scene, but hey...""What's the riot grrrl music scene?").

Marry Me, Juliet

I don't listen to a lot of Top 40, but this song caught my attention. Only hearing bits of the lyrics on the radio, the song sounded a little bit, well, gay. What can I say? The line "My daddy said 'Stay away from Juliet'" sung by a girl evokes forbidden love of the sapphic kind.

Upon further inspection, the song is about as heteronormative as it gets. But I'm always a sucker for a Romeo and Juliet re-imagining...



... and I'm definitely a sucker for a cute blonde with southern drawl.


So, I'll keep listening to it, just ignoring the pronouns.

This post can also serve as the first installment of Ways the Straight Girl Knows She's Gay (WSGKSG). Pretty self-explanatory.

WSGKSG #23 (the numbers mean nothing - there's no method to this madness): Upon reading Romeo and Juliet, she identifies more with Romeo than Juliet. Not necessary in an I-want-to-be-a-boy kind of way, but in a way where she gets to be the one to climb up to the balcony - gets to be the one to fight for love (literally). To be explored further.

Who wants sunshine when you've got The Dead Weather?

A team of rivals...okay not so much rivals as contemporaries. Alison Mosshart of the Kills in the new Jack White band The Dead Weather.

Her vocals are just sick, I love it. Her work as part of the duo The Kills was extraordinary. She reminds me of the best women rockers of the 80's like Joan Jett. And I guess Jack White doesn't suck too.

Inaugural Blog Post! Ooo, Ahhh...

I think blogs are inherently self involved. When a person writes a blog, they're saying "what I have to say is important enough that other people want to hear it." That's not how I tend to think. I'd like to think of this blog more as a place for people who share my interests. So, only slightly less egocentric :-).

The point is, I think I have a weird set of interests. Actually, I know this to be true and am told so frequently. Some don't seem to mesh with each other, but it all makes sense to me. Everything from politics to fashion, entertainment to philosophy. I guess I'm just hoping it makes sense to some other folks too and goodness will ensue.